Mick Jagger is Lazy, Too

January 5, 2010 at 11:16 pm (Uncategorized) (, , )

As a society we’ve all gotten lazy. Just think about the technological advancements of the past 100 or so years.

The Remote Control – No longer do you have to get up and walk to the TV. Or poke your rat kids to change the channel from the Andy Griffith Show to Happy Days. Man, That Ron Howard probably got all the babes. That wore shoe length skirts.

People Movers–  Only humans would rather stand on something that moves slower than actually walking. What’s next? Moving sneakers? I’ll take 3.

Washing Machines – Remember when Ma had to go out back and hand scrub all of our overalls and bandannas after a long day at the garage working on our Ford Model Ts? Well, I do. Because I saw it on TV. Period pieces. Very moving.

Not to say I’m not lazy because I am. One time I had to go to the grocery store and my keys were about 6 inches too far for me to reach from the couch. So I did what any American would do. I laid on that couch for two days. Sometimes it just ain’t worth it. Muscles be damned. Or not damned.

I don’t know.

But the one place we have just given up is song writing.  Those thoughtful lyrics of the 70s and 80s are over. Those times when Phil Collins were telling us to Sussudio, Michael Jackson talking about mamasamamasa yo mama jokes, and Annie Lennox walking on broken glass are done. OVER. They put some blood, sweat, and tears into writing those songs. I can just imagine Annie Lennox one day walking over some broken glass and while her feet were bleeding getting to a note pad and scribbling down some sick lyrics for us.

WHO PUT THAT GLASS THERE?!?!

That’s what I would have said.

Then cried.

Regardless, where was I going with this? Oh yes. So this week’s number one song on the Billboard charts (insert Casey Kasem here) is Tik Tok by Ke$ha. Yeah. Welcome to Earth. I’m no grammarian, but I’m pretty sure you don’t spell “tik tok” or “Ke$ha” in that fashion. Is that in the dictionary? Hold on. Who am I kidding? No one owns a dictionary anymore! WE AINT NO NERDS!  WE AIN’T NERDS!

Putting that on a t-shirt.

I was listening to that song for the 34th time today and got to think about how lazy the song is. Don’t get me wrong, the song is now my jams when I get down at the clubs, but when the first line of your song is “Wake up in the morning like my name is P.Diddy,” we’re going to have issues. So you wake up in the morning feeling like a rich black man. Must be nice.  Let’s imagine the songwriter for this for one second…

Song writer – “Ok she’s going to the city, what rhymes with city?”

Writing friend- ” Swifty. She’s swifty in the city. That means FAST!”

Songwriter – “Um, no. How about…”

Writing Friend- ” Kitty! She has a kitty! Cats. They rule!”

Songwriter- “You’re fired. Let’s go with Bity? Wity? Dity? Dity? Diddy? DIDDY! P. MOTHER F’IN DIDDY! She wakes up in the morning like P. Diddy! I’m a genius!”

So she wakes up feeling like P. Diddy because apparently she’s something to go and party. Ok I can work past that for now. Then she goes  “Pedicure on our toes, toes.” I won’t worry about her obvious stuttering issues or baby talk for the moment, but where else would you get a pedicure? Pedicure on your face? Pedicure means taking care of your feet and toes. Don’t patronize me, ok? I know what pedicure is. No need to tell me 5 times. I get it. On the toes. I WENT TO COLLEGE!

Overrated.

So far we have learned that after you party all night you wake up in the morning feeling like a rich, black, singer/producer/ businessman and that you don’t get a pedicure on your ears. Inspirational. But to close this out Ke$ha tells us to not bother talking to her unless you look like…

Mick Jagger.

Mick Jagger. Mick Jagger is 66 years old. Is this the age demo for 20-year-old girls? We have no chance.  At some point women are going for guys 40 years older than them. When I turn 75 I will be on fire with the females. If Mick Jagger walked up to a 25-year-old right now they would tell him to get lost and asking him why he’s not eating apple pie from a straw. But not Ke$ha, oh no, you can party all night now! Here that 65 plus crowd? You can party all night tonight and every night. Oh yeah! Either this is 1967 or we have an anti-ageism policy in effect. I’m going for 1967.

Just bought some bell bottoms.

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12 Comments

  1. Clumsy said,

    So, you ever complete the task I set for you at Chard’s bday party?

    Just checking. Glad to be reading!

    • Rahul said,

      Not yet. One day. When I’m drunk. And about to die.

  2. lbluca77 said,

    What are you talking about, Mick Jagger is all kinds of sexy.

    That was the biggest lie I ever told.

    • Rahul said,

      Brown Sugar! That song is about me. No homo.

  3. Lauren said,

    That song is SO ANNOYING. And the lyrics are horrid – I agree.

    Speaking of lazy, did you see that amazing(ly awful) dating show last night – Conveyor Belt of Love? Genius. Pure Genius. (I lasted 20 minutes).

    • Rahul said,

      I saw a little bit. It made me want to build a car

  4. Just A Girl said,

    I’vr never heard that song because I’m against anyone spelling their name with symbols unless they’re Prince, who doesn’t even do that anymore because even HE knows that shit is wack. <–gangster, unlike P. Diddy.

    Phil Collins is the man.

    • Rahul said,

      I bought a Phil Collins Mug once. It broke.

  5. longredcape said,

    I’m so glad you’re blogging again. God bless. It was worth the wait.

    • Rahul said,

      God wanted me to write again. Where does he live?

  6. fetch said,

    You moved? WTF son?

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