Vancouver. Olympics. Police Not Enforcing Laws. What Could Go Wrong?

January 26, 2010 at 3:05 pm (Uncategorized) (, , )

I pretty much like anything that ends in Olympics. Summer, Winter, Special, Beer, Homeless, Midget, Olympic Olympics, whatever, I will watch anything. The thrill of watching people compete for a medal that will be inconsequential in roughly 3.5 days means a lot. It’s not so much the jewelry you will be receiving, but the pride of competing for your country that enamors me.

In two weeks athletes will come together from all over the world in Vancouver, British Columbia to show the world that they too can compete ridiculously stoned while sliding down one mile of ice lying on their back. Let’s be honest and call this the Pot olympics. When I first heard they were holding the Winter Olympics in Vancouver I said, “Where’s that?”. Then after consulting a map and seeing that there is ANOTHER country on this continent, I turned and looked up this mythical place named Vancouver, which probably has the greatest unicorns ever, and saw this…

“Vancouver’s police and the justice system tend to turn a blind eye to marijuana use. if you are caught with a small amount of cannabis in Vancouver it is extremely unlikely that you will be charged, in the vast majority of cases the police will simply ask you to move somewhere out of sight to finish up, or ignore the fact altogether. “

Oh goody gum drops! Why don’t we just put these athletes in hemp necklaces and give them all peace sign medals? When the flag drops for the medal ceremony we should just have Phish come out and play a 32 minute “jam”.

We get it Phish, you can play guitar.

This has the opportunity to be the greatest Olympics of our time. Athletes falling down all over the place and being late for everything. Post game interviews at the Bobsled track that involve dissertations on whether Scooby Doo’s van was “really freakin me out man”. We can just have Oliver and Sharon Stone do the commentating.

See what I did there?

Pun fail.

Vancouver, I bow down to you and your lenient drug use policy. I also bow down to you for convincing the world to hold an athletic endeavor there. Thats a lot of bowing. Not since the 1980 Olympic games in Lake Placid, NY have we tried to mix drugs and athletics this much. (FYI: Huge Meth issue in Lake Placid. HUGE. Big time tweekers. Been there once. Bad scene.) We all know what happened in Lake Placid. The US Men’s hockey team shocked the world. So I’ll make a prediction for this year’s Winter Games based on that.

Your 2010 Winter Olympic Guarantee

Team Finland ain’t leaving the hookah bar.

Believe it.



  1. Jay said,

    I live 3 hours south of Vancouver, and can confirm that it’s like one big hippie commune up there, only with extra mayo.

    • Rahul said,

      Hippie Mayo. Probably smells like burning.

  2. shine said,

    Dude, Canada is BIG. We’re lucky they’re all laid back and shit or they’d eat our whole country for lunch.

    Jay, you really HAD to bring MAYO into this? WHY?

    • Rahul said,

      Except that America has about 10 times the population of Canada you are exactly correct

  3. lbluca77 said,

    This post made me want to get high.

    In other news I hate the Olympics. It ruins my regularly scheduled programming.

    • Rahul said,

      It’s only NBC. No one wants to see Jay Leno anyway.

  4. jen - tsk said,

    So, they haven’t even had the winter olympics on TV in the UK. I feel robbed!

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