Who Are You? No, really. Please tell me.

February 10, 2010 at 2:51 pm (Uncategorized) (, , )

Ding Dong. The Super Bowl is over. The City of New Orleans won. The Indianapolis Mannings lost. Bourbon Street was awash in vomit, hurricanes, and human excrement for two days. People got their panties in a bunch about Tim Tebow then he didn’t say one thing about removing a fetus from your body and Drew Brees created the best picture in Super Bowl history.

Oh, one more thing. The Who pretty much threw up on themselves at halftime.

Get them some Metamucil.

Listen, I like the Who. I really do. Don’t you? That was a little Dr Seussian rhyme I created. Seriously, though, The Who are one of the most iconic bands of all time. Sitting there at a half time, a couple of friends said they had never heard of one Who song. I said that was impossible and they must have heard at least one. I had my doubts about The Who. I mean, let’s be honest, Roger Daltrey and Pete Towshend are a combined 512 years old (approximate). Asking them to perform at a high level is like asking Joan Rivers to go do an awards show without peeing herself. It’s impossible. But out walked Daltrey and Towshend to play their awesome hits and they sounded like this.

Oh god.

Over the shrieks of my friends saying “Oh that’s the CSI song!” I cringed. Roger Daltrey had gone back in time and turned into William Hung. I’m pretty sure “She Bangs” would have worked out better. The only thing that was missing was Simon Cowell saying “Ok,that’s enough. Poor song choice there. That was an awful awful performance. Nothing redeeming.” The Who had gone from being the band that made the first ever full length rock opera to a bunch of old geezers that sold out songs to a show about a team of nerds and chemistry geeks solving crimes.

That Marg Helgenberger can solve my crime.

Or something.

Let it be known that I knew having The Who at a halftime show was a bad idea. Number one, they’re old. Number two, they’re really old. Number 3, Keith Moon died about 30 years ago. The only time it served a person better to be dead than alive was on Sunday. If there was a way I could be cryogenically frozen after hearing one of the worst renditions of Baba O’Riley ever and be revived in time for the start of the second half that was the time. This is not to say having older acts is a bad idea. I thought Tom Petty and Bruce Springsteen were really good. Mainly because, I don’t know, they can still sing.

The Who ruined my memories of them. I remember watching performances of Towshend shredding on the guitar, Daltry nailing all the notes, Keith Moon being on quaaludes and not knowing what country he was in. We may as well have just wheeled out a karaoke machine, the Chuck E Cheese band where they don’t hit their own instruments, and had Roger Daltry lip synch “Single Ladies.” I don’t see how that could have been any worse.

It’s time to stop The Who. Please stop. You’re hurting my heart, but mainly you’re hurting my ears. I have an earache. I’ll be billing you for that.

My suggestion for next year’s Super Bowl is Jimi Hendrix. Let’s dig him up and put him out there.

We won’t get fooled again.

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6 Comments

  1. Ben said,

    I don’t know much about Superbowls, and Footballs, and Sports, but I do know that kid didn’t pull his weight out there enough to deserve glory pictures like that.

    I call public relations bullshit.

  2. lbluca77 said,

    After reading that some of your friends never heard of the Who I was gonna say, well have they never seen CSI? Cause like Law and Order it is on about 739 times a day on about 37 different channels.

    I actually had to cover my ears while they were performing. Seriously it was just not good!

  3. katelin said,

    um that picture is all sorts of cuteness. best part of the super bowl, hands down.

    also, i only knew the who because of the csi theme songs, whoops.

  4. alexa - cleveland's a plum said,

  5. Scott said,

    i had this same conversation with my peeps on Sunday, but it wasn’t as funny…..

  6. Matt said,

    bring back Janet!!!

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