The Fonz Wore Water Skis Once. Glory Be.

February 25, 2010 at 1:06 pm (Uncategorized) (, , )

The world has become a meaner place over the past 50 or so years. Now some of you may say it has become nicer because we don’t discriminate people over the color of the skin and we judge them by the content of their character. Well, to that I say..BOLLOCKS. You can’t say anything nice about anything anymore. If I go to someone, “Man this Chicken Rice bowl is Amazing!”, inevitably 4 people will tell me how much it sucks and that chicken and rice go together like vomit and mouth. Then 4 more people will piggyback off of those 4 people who say it sucks and say things like “Bowls! Who eats out of a bowl?!?!” and ” Why don’t you just eat a dead rat? ALIEN!” I know. I don’t even have a big head.

Racism.

It has become cliché to hate everything. Remember a simpler time when everyone liked tie dye, rock and/or roll, and bandanas? Or free love, disco pants and cocaine? I sure don’t. I wasn’t alive. It seems like back in those days people were together. They liked what they liked. They didn’t like what they didn’t. When you had a thought some people would agree and the people who disagreed wouldn’t put a chloroform rag over your mouth, drag you to the Hudson river, dress you up in drag and take pictures of you with a penis drawn on your forehead.

Flashbacks.

Now that people have to take their opinions and let it be known across multiple media platforms we all know what everyone hates. We get it. You hate everything. There is one thing though that bothers me. One thing that we hear over and over and over again. That’s right.

Everyone hates Nickelback.

We get it. Please stop. The past 3 or 4 years it has become “in” to hate Nickelback. Everywhere you go people talk about how Nickelback is terrible and how much they dislike them. At first, it was pretty funny. Nickelback had become the hate band of our generation that many people thought “sold out” or put out bad music that became popular. It was a good running gag IN 2007! Seriously, why? Why are we still beating this drum about Nickelback. In the past couple of months some new groups have come out on Facebook.

Can this pickle get more fans than Nickelback?

or

I bet I can find 169,000 people that hate Nickelback.

or

I bet that…YOU ARE A DUMBASS.

That last one has a group of one. Me.

I get that people think Nickelback is unoriginal. They are. I get that they play the same 4 melodic chords over and over, they do. I’ll be honest, I own 2 Nickelback albums. Their 1st 2. If you don’t think The State is a rockin’ album then you, my friend, are a lost cause. If this means a pickle is more famous than me than so be it. I can deal.

People always use the phrase” jumping the shark”, so much so, that the phrase “jumping the shark” has in fact “jumped the shark.” The Fonz would be proud. Yet people’s irrational hate of Nickelback soldiers on. It has not died down in the past 5 years. People don’t even hate George Bush that much anymore. Where’s the “Can this pretzel get more fans and make more coherent sentences than George Bush” Facebook group? It doesn’t exist? Why? Because we don’t care anymore. But people still make Nickelback jokes, throw things at Chad Kroeger and cut their ears off when they hear a Nickelback chorus. I am calling for an end to this. Believe it or not Nickelback was pretty good at one time. Listen to “Leader of Men, Breathe, and Little Friend. Can we move onto something else? It’s 2010. They haven’t put out an album in two years. I have a solution.

Tiger Woods.

Go talk about him.

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20 Comments

  1. tux said,

    Speaking of the Fonz, I seen him in person last weekend. He’s a classy approachable man.

    • Rahul said,

      Did you ask him about Leather Tuscadero? She was hot.

  2. LaFcuk said,

    It’s not so much that I hate Nickelback, I just hate that most of their radio stuff sounded the same. As it also sounded like Creed and Lifehouse. Not their fault really, I guess. But I am insanely in love with Breaking Benjamin, found out they were gonna be in concert near me…with Nickelback. I’m not sure what to do…

  3. shine said,

    On the radio this morning, I heard a man say that Angelina Jolie has jumped the shark. Because she’s not hot any more, I think. I don’t even know what that means…

    And since I’ve hated Nickelback from the beginning, I’m just going to go ahead with it.

  4. Martini said,

    Ugh, I totally agree. We get it, Nickleback isn’t “cool.” I can’t wait for FB to tell me what I shouldn’t like next. Babies? Missouri? TELL ME WHAT TO HATE EMPHATICALLY.

  5. heatheradair said,

    and once the pickle gets more fans than the nickleback, then what? it’s an anticlimax. my guess: the next cool thing to hate on FB is FB itself….

  6. Elizabeth said,

    I dig the new blog. Maybe I’ll actually start writing on my own one again.

  7. Jordan said,

    Very true…although I still hate almost everything.

    • Rahul said,

      Hating everything is cool. Hating one thing because I tell you to hate it isn’t. Worldy Hate is ok with me

  8. amindinmotown said,

    I’m in the pickle group. No lie. Find me.

    • Rahul said,

      I’d prefer to dig my own eyeballs out with a spork.

  9. Jay said,

    If I’m not free to judge others who don’t like what I like, then why exactly am I on the internet? Making connections? Buying goods and services? Downloading porn? Oh wait, that’s it — downloading porn.

    • Rahul said,

      Make sure you got that high speed connection and private browsing and…um..let’s move on.

  10. dollyasylum said,

    I hate pickles! But I like socks. I’m going to start a new facebook group called “lets see if this sock can get more fans than the pickle that has more fans than Nickelback”.

  11. advifearike said,

    i seriously enjoy your own writing taste, very charming,
    don’t quit as well as keep writing as a result it just good worth to look through it.
    excited to look at much of your current writing, thankx!

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