More like Repeat-hanna. Oy.

May 27, 2010 at 11:07 am (Uncategorized) (, , )

There are some things that are inherent to our society. They usually go into that hacky phrase of, “The only thing that’s guaranteed is death and taxes!” Shut up. I don’t want to hear it anymore. But there are other things that no matter what we do we know are going to happen regardless of how we try to change. Men are always going to leave the toilet seat up. Women are going to go shopping. Men are going to laugh at fart jokes. Women are going to laugh at anything Chelsea Handler does and both sexes are going to have a dance party whenever a Rihanna song comes on. It’s just going to happen.

Except Chris Brown because blah blah blah.

Here’s the thing about Rihanna, her songs are really catchy. I’ll give her producer credit. They give her some pretty good beats to work with. The problem with Rihanna is that she says the same thing over and over and over again. I can hear people now, “How could you say such a thing! She is beautiful and has a great voice.” To those people I say “poppycock”. To everyone else I say “bollocks”. To the unnamed third group I say “Sweet Gingivitis.” I don’t know. Sounded better in my brain.

It hit me this past weekend that Rihanna loves repeating herself. It’s not even opinion at this point. It’s just what she does. I could make my own song with my own repeating one syllable word. This weekend that word was “sad”. But then you can add in anything else. Maybe “sex” or “hit” or something absurdly unoriginal. Just try it. Keep repeating that oen word over and over and over again, and you have your own hit Rihanna song. You’ve done it. Well Rihanna has fooled me for the last time!

Aside- She never fooled me before, but people always say “fooled for the last time”. That’s impossible. We always get fooled. We’re humans. Only robots wouldn’t get fooled like Small Wonder. She was always on top of it.

To prove my point, I have meticulously wasted my time and created this Rihanna re-mix. I took 8. That’s right, EIGHT, different Rihanna songs and picked out parts where she just repeats herself. This either makes me the biggest Rihanna fan ever or someone who has a pathetic amount of time on his hands. My mom would go for option number 2.

Enjoy.

Or don’t.

For some reason the link seems to not be working in Firefox. It does work in Explorer, though. I don’t know. I’m not IT. Keep all brown jokes to yourself. If the link isn’t working, you can download it below.

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12 Comments

  1. LiLu said,

    Someday when I have kids, and obviously a paddle for spanking them, I’m going to name it “Sweet Gingivitis.”

    • Rahul said,

      I would name mine “the Hit Stick”. That could be used in a couple ways.

  2. Ask Alice said,

    This is my new favorite Rihanna song

    ….rude boy boy boy boy boy

  3. shine said,

    You forgot “Pon de Replay” otherwise know as “the best Rhianna song ever.”

    I’m not going to tell you that the little boy has sweeter moves than you, because we all already know that, right?

    • Rahul said,

      DAMMIT. I did forget that. And the TI song. I HATE EVERYONE.

  4. Ash said,

    And I thought I was the only pathetic person with a ridiculous amount of time on their hands!
    (No offence.)

  5. Citygal said,

    You’re right on the money with this one. However, her repetition is catchy and easy to remember the lyrics, so I will keep working out to her songs 😉

    • Rahul said,

      Work it, let me work it, put my thing down flip and reverse it. Now thats a song.

  6. Vixations said,

    SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS!

    She’s not the only one repeating everything in a pop song. Your’e just a hater. A puppy hater. The end.

    • Rahul said,

      This may be true. Look out for the Gaga remix coming soon.

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