The Internet Likes Keeping Bad Things Popular

July 21, 2010 at 10:12 am (Uncategorized) (, )

This morning after my every morning ritual of getting up, looking for burglars, hitting snooze, and trying to finish the dream I was interrupted in which usually involves a leprechaun, the hot barista at Starbucks and some skittles, I logged onto to the Twit Machine. On the little sidebar were the normal, idiotic trending topics of #ifyoureallyknewme, Lindsay Lohan, and #wouldyoupickyournosefor20dollarsandeatit.

$20 is like 30 $5 foot longs from Subway.

But leading all the trending topics today was one Shirley Sherrod. I know, I was just as confused as you as to why that lady from The View would be a trending topic. After I clicked on her name I realized that Shirley Sherrod was NOT the Sherri from The View. In fact, Shirley Sherrod wasn’t even Whoopi Goldberg. (Insert joke about the name Shirley here. Shirley?!?! I hardly knew her!). At that point with my mind being blown in the least sexual way possible, I realized this. Why do I know so much about The View? It’s been widely accepted that the View is a terrible TV program that is filled with people who don’t know the world is round, claim that women that get stalked deserve it, and the corpse of Barbara Walters. Even with all of those things, The View still is around for a 12th season and infiltrating the mind of America. Why? There’s only one reason.

Us.

Well, not us specifically, but everyone that has a blog or likes making fun of things. Has anyone seen a clip of The View in the last 11 years without seeing it on the Internet? Blogs and websites have kept The View in the public eye. I was thinking all of this time that it was MY fault I knew stuff about The View. Oh no. It’s everyone else’s fault. When Whoopi drops an “Ooh child,” or Joy Behar says something patently unfunny yet 3 women laugh about it like they saw the “Dogs playing poker” painting, it’s all over your Huffington Post and various other blogs that pretend like they are important. So here’s the real question.

Why am I still talking about thi….

I mean, who is watching The View?

Someone out there is watching The View live and in real-time because someone has to know these clips exist to send to everyone else. Whoever this person is I demand you show your face for so the people of this world can throw tomatoes at you for subjecting us to this nonsense on a semi monthly basis. The show is just a parody of itself. I have yet to see a clip of them discussing something intelligently and with a basis of fact. Every clip I see is the equivalent to the pie in the face. I mean it’s funny the first 10 times, but after a while it’s just a waste of pie and it’s depressing someone thinks that this would stimulate anyone.

Pie Face is racist.

So wherever you are man or woman who is watching The View everyday at 10am on your local ABC affiliate I ask you stop watching. This isn’t helping out anyone’s day. I end up watching a 5 minute clip of some chick that used to be on Survivor crying about being made fun of. If I wanted to watch that I would just take a video of my lunch break when I go down to the schoolyard down the block and bogart the slide for myself. First come, first serve, kids.

The View? More like The Stew?

That sounded better in my head.

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18 Comments

  1. lbluca77 said,

    I only watch the View when one of those hosts is going to throw down with another host.

  2. alexa - cleveland's a plum said,

    i recently read that women check facebook in the morning before they pee.

    that is all.

    • Rahul said,

      Who doesn’t? It should say humans breathe air before they breathe

  3. Jillian said,

    Not to be a turncoat to my own gender or anything, but I think it’s pretty safe to say that it’s a woman watching the View every morning on her local ABC affiliate. In fact, it very well be my sister, as I’ve caught her watching it more than once when she visits.

    Yeah-that’s right. I am a Benedict feminist and I throw family members under the bus. But when we’re talking about The View, it’s no holds barred.

    • Rahul said,

      Jillian family steel cage match! I’ll bring the popcorn. And the paramedics.

  4. The Demigoddess said,

    I watch The View when there isn’t anything else on cable TV at 3 am (I am not proud of it). Some cable networks in the Philippines do reruns of The View at such an unholy hour.

    • Rahul said,

      I imagine you can understand Whoopi a lot better in Filipino.

  5. Junket said,

    Bwahahaha….I’ll take Maury over the view anyday. Don’t worry, you are NOT the father!

    • Rahul said,

      More excited people. The ones who win the Super Bowl or the non-fathers on Maury?

  6. Katrina said,

    I’m going to watch The View tomorrow.

    Only because Alex Mapa is on going to be on it. and I want to have his gay asian babies.

    • Rahul said,

      I don’t know who this Alex Mapa is, but I imagine him to be Gay and Asian. Take that encyclopedia brown.

  7. laurenne said,

    Shirley you watch The View, Rahul. Stop blaming others.
    Shirley you yearn to be a Twitter trend.
    Shirley you sleep with one hand down your pants.
    Shirley you wear T-shirts.
    Shirley you still have stuffed animals.
    Shirley you love me and I love you.

    I’m tired.

    • Rahul said,

      Shirley, this comment is why I like you.

  8. laurengibaldi said,

    You know, I tried watching The View once and gave up 10 minutes in. The women were just ANNOYING.

    • Rahul said,

      YOU TAKE THAT BACK ABOUT WHOOPI.

      Oh, I thought you were talking about Sister Act. Carry on.

  9. Matt said,

    I SWEAR TO GOD I AM NOT THE ONE WATCHING IT.

    At least, I didnt today anyway.

    Sorry.

    • Rahul said,

      this is why there were no clips on line. You’ve been caught.

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