Internet Jesus. (Hint: He wears glasses)
I get all of my up to date info from Facebook. Maybe it’s sad that I use a social media tool that promotes a fake Farm game and suggests dead people to be my friends as my source of news in the morning, but it’s 2010. The world has changed. Get with it or get…er…without it?
Whatever.
Yesterday the internet was a buzz with Steve Jobs newest invention the iPad. Only 400 people, immediately, put up status updates on it. When Steve Jobs makes an appearance the Internet explodes. Let’s be serious, Steve Jobs is the Pope of the internet. Let’s just wheel him out in a plexiglass Atlasphere and call it a day. They released the iPad and told us it will REVOLUTIONIZE the world. I, for one, am glad that this is the 1st time Apple will revolutionize something. People usually don’t use hyperbole when describing something put out by Apple. They are laid back and….
How the iPod Revolutionized the Music Industry
Oh. But that was just one…
How iPhone 3.0 May Revolutionize The Smartphone Industry
To be fair, the iPhone and iTunes were pretty awesome, so I can handle only talking about those….
iMovie is quickly revolutionizing the way people tell stories.
iMovie too? Ok, I can see that, but that’s pretty much it for Apple, that’s all their products. Nothing else could….
Can Apple Revolutionize The TV Biz?
TV? That’s it, that’s everything: movies, music, TV. Looks like Apple has gotten everyone. So they found their niche and we have media in our hands. Apple looks to be done with…
Will Apple revolutionize mobile advertising?
WAR WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR??!?!
Wait.
Wrong outrage phrase.
SWEET FRIGHTENING MONKEY DUNG!!!!
Apple is now revolutionizing or has revolutionized tv, movie, music, and the source of the money, advertising. Steve Jobs, you are a good man. You have taken all forms of Entertainment and made them your own. How about you now….
I made that one up.
Would anything shock you at this point? People, as a whole, overreact to technology. When something shiny and new comes out it is either the greatest thing ever (iPod, Kindle) or the worst invention put out by mankind (anything released by Dell). Two months, later all technology is outdated and at a 75 percent discount at Smart and Final. Somehow Steve Jobs and Apple have made their own personal world where everything is awesome. It doesn’t matter what they do now. They could put Jesus on a stick, have a claymation attached of a bird defecating on his robe, stick some speakers on it, market it as the iHim (the first All Knowing speaker!) and watch the minions go nuts and sell out of the Lord Steve Jobs posters at Target.
I have 6.
The infatuation with the Apple brand is amazing to me. When the iPhone price was slashed in half people went crazy because they can’t believe they paid full price. Guess what? PRICES GO DOWN. WELCOME TO A FREE MARKET SOCIETY. All common sense and reason go out the window. How could Apple do that to us? Cut prices? In America? In a capitalist society with a democracy and no queen? This is blasphemous! This is the Apple revolution. WE DOTH BUT MEN!
If you’ve seen the new iPad, it doesn’t fit in your pocket. Unless you’re wearing MC hammer pants or Zubaz. Unfortunately for me, I only wear those on Saturdays. So the other 6 days I have to put the iPad on a chain and attach it to my pocket with my henna tattoo art and lip ring to accessorize the outfit. Needless to say, it’s awkward. Now that I said something bad about it I expect the fire of a thousand burning suns to come drop on my head by Apple nation.
Wear suncreen.
Then go revolutionize something.
Just tell them Apple sent you.
I Wear T-Shirts...Sometimes 
